Voice Activated Dialing by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Voice Activated Dialing
(Old lady in a car)
Car phone: Welcome to DirectDial, the simplest voice-activated dialing system! What would you like to do?
Lady: Call Sam.
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No. Call Sam.
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No! Call Sam!
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No! Stupid, stupid thing...
Car phone: Calling Sofa King. Is this correct?
Lady: No! And since when do I have the number for Sofa King?
Car phone: (laughs) You don't, I'm just screwing with you.
Lady: What did you just say?
Car phone: Nothing. *invisible shifty eyes*
Lady: That was weird...
Car phone: Calling M
I got home from school later that day, put my stuff on my bed, finished my homework, and then immediately started mapping out my idea for Alexs poster. I was still going to use Lizs main thought, but I was just going to twist it around, and spell everything correctly. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Hey ru working on my poster?
I typed back,
Yeah, right as we speak. What color do you want your poster to be?
I set my phone down and got the extra posters from my bedroom that I kept incase of emergency. I got another text.
White is good.
Good, I thought, because I only have that and lime green. I got out my markers,
During school that day, all I could think about was the basketball game and what would happen. Taylor and I had agreed to meet up at my house after rehearsals, which were set to end earlier today since it was Friday. This gave us thirty minutes to go to my house, get changed then leave for the big game.
When I saw Taylor after school during rehearsals she had a new friend with her. She was tall, with thin, brown hair and, big BIIIGGG bazoomas. I went up to talk to Taylor, wondering who this person was.
Hey Taylor. I said as I went up to her.
She turned around and looked at me, Oh. Hey Charly. Charly,
Chapter 2
I had just landed a not so important role in my high school play, and even though I wasnt a main character, I put all of my energy into helping out in any way I could. The plays name was Shakespeare in Hollywood, and I loved the cast to death! I had been in one other play before this, and although the experience was fun and everyone apart of the play had worked hard, there were cliques and social groups, and since I wasnt high on the radar, no one really paid that much attention to me. However, with this play, I felt like I had more of a connection with everyone working in it, and that the people were genuinel
Chapter 1
Pit, pat, pit, pat, pit, pat. Nothing, like the sound of my feet hitting the pavement has relaxed me more. My idea of relaxing has always confused people. Usually its because I tell them that what I find relaxing is running. Whenever I let this bomb drop its always, Why? Or Are you crazy? Its never, Oh that is so interesting, you run? Why dont you tell me more about it, but I guess that is expecting too much from people and their selfishness. I am not a people hater, believe me, I love people! I mean, why did God put
How To Use A Cell Phone by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
How To Use A Cell Phone
In a classroom filled with middle-aged moms, at the front of the classroom, lies a chalkboard (yes a CHALKboard) with a hip looking male teacher standing in front of it. As the teacher talks many more moms file into the room looking around quizzically and lost.
Teacher: Hello everyone! Please take the nearest seat to you and sit down.
(Moms all scramble around, voices raised)
Teacher: (yelling above the noise) Now that everyone is seated, let's start this session of How To Use A Cell Phone Correctly.
Mom #1: Hey! Don't raise your voice with me mister! I will have to call your parents if you do that again,
Judy Goes to the Bank by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Judy Goes to the Bank
(bank scene)
Teller #1: Good morning, ma'm, how may I help you?
Judy: Ma'm? what does that mean?
Teller #1: well, it's like saying senora.
Judy: (nods frantically) Oh! Vamos a ver... I'd like to put this in checking.
Teller #1: Okay, I'll...
Judy: Everyone, you need to respect this woman as she does this! I would like COMPLETE SILENCE!
Teller #1: Uh, that's not really necessary.
Judy: Yes-but-caja-well-estamos-frogs-cabeza
Teller #1: Are you all right?
Judy: (deep voice) I NEED RECHARGING.
(normal high, annoying voice) Sorry, uh, I mean... I just needs some coffee.
Teller #1: Right. Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I have anothe
Edward's Secret Identity by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Edward's Secret Identity
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion. (pause) So, hey, you've read the Harry Potter series, right?
Bella: Uh... yeah.
Edward: Seen all the movies?
Bella: Yeah, I have.
Edward: So, that Harry guy... you think you could, like, seduce him?
Bella: Ew, why?
Edward: Just asking. (shifty eyes)
Bella: Seriously, why?
Edward: Well, you know that Cho girl?
Bella: Yes.
Edward: She's not enough to distract him! He's too strong. But you... you could help me.
Bella: First of all, it's just a book; they're not even real. And second, why do you even care?
Edward: We
Opera of Soap, Episode 3 by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Opera of Soap, Episode 3
Announcer: Okay, here we are again. They are airing another episode of this incredibly stupid soap opera. You know I really wonder why everyone wants to watch it.
Another Announcer: Well, it has cliff endings, romance, and the occasional make-out scene. . . Not that I watch it or anything.
Announcer: Anyway, heres a clip of the upcoming episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(the Girl and her best friend Ashley come back to the Girls apartment after they have seen Joanne in the hospital after she was hit by a car, and the police are there questioni
Jonas Brothers Secret . . . by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Jonas Brothers Secret . . .
(The Jonas Brothers are sitting in the middle of an empty room, looking very serious)
Joe: So... we're all here.
Nick: Yeah, there are, like, three of us in the room.
Kevin: Wait, three? I thought there were five of us! My dealer said I would still be able to see...
Nick: Dude, calm down, you guys. I have something really important to tell you.
Joe: Really? So do I...
Kevin: So, are you going to break the news to Nick or, like, should I?
Joe: I think I should do it.
Nick: What is it?
Joe: Nick, I'm getting married.
Nick: Woah. Wait, are you and Taylor back together? Dude, you know that she's bad news. Remember that little, uh, incid
Voice Activated Dialing by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Voice Activated Dialing
(Old lady in a car)
Car phone: Welcome to DirectDial, the simplest voice-activated dialing system! What would you like to do?
Lady: Call Sam.
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No. Call Sam.
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No! Call Sam!
Car phone: Calling Michael. Is this correct?
Lady: No! Stupid, stupid thing...
Car phone: Calling Sofa King. Is this correct?
Lady: No! And since when do I have the number for Sofa King?
Car phone: (laughs) You don't, I'm just screwing with you.
Lady: What did you just say?
Car phone: Nothing. *invisible shifty eyes*
Lady: That was weird...
Car phone: Calling M
I got home from school later that day, put my stuff on my bed, finished my homework, and then immediately started mapping out my idea for Alexs poster. I was still going to use Lizs main thought, but I was just going to twist it around, and spell everything correctly. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Hey ru working on my poster?
I typed back,
Yeah, right as we speak. What color do you want your poster to be?
I set my phone down and got the extra posters from my bedroom that I kept incase of emergency. I got another text.
White is good.
Good, I thought, because I only have that and lime green. I got out my markers,
During school that day, all I could think about was the basketball game and what would happen. Taylor and I had agreed to meet up at my house after rehearsals, which were set to end earlier today since it was Friday. This gave us thirty minutes to go to my house, get changed then leave for the big game.
When I saw Taylor after school during rehearsals she had a new friend with her. She was tall, with thin, brown hair and, big BIIIGGG bazoomas. I went up to talk to Taylor, wondering who this person was.
Hey Taylor. I said as I went up to her.
She turned around and looked at me, Oh. Hey Charly. Charly,
Chapter 2
I had just landed a not so important role in my high school play, and even though I wasnt a main character, I put all of my energy into helping out in any way I could. The plays name was Shakespeare in Hollywood, and I loved the cast to death! I had been in one other play before this, and although the experience was fun and everyone apart of the play had worked hard, there were cliques and social groups, and since I wasnt high on the radar, no one really paid that much attention to me. However, with this play, I felt like I had more of a connection with everyone working in it, and that the people were genuinel
Chapter 1
Pit, pat, pit, pat, pit, pat. Nothing, like the sound of my feet hitting the pavement has relaxed me more. My idea of relaxing has always confused people. Usually its because I tell them that what I find relaxing is running. Whenever I let this bomb drop its always, Why? Or Are you crazy? Its never, Oh that is so interesting, you run? Why dont you tell me more about it, but I guess that is expecting too much from people and their selfishness. I am not a people hater, believe me, I love people! I mean, why did God put
Judy Goes to the Bank by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Judy Goes to the Bank
(bank scene)
Teller #1: Good morning, ma'm, how may I help you?
Judy: Ma'm? what does that mean?
Teller #1: well, it's like saying senora.
Judy: (nods frantically) Oh! Vamos a ver... I'd like to put this in checking.
Teller #1: Okay, I'll...
Judy: Everyone, you need to respect this woman as she does this! I would like COMPLETE SILENCE!
Teller #1: Uh, that's not really necessary.
Judy: Yes-but-caja-well-estamos-frogs-cabeza
Teller #1: Are you all right?
Judy: (deep voice) I NEED RECHARGING.
(normal high, annoying voice) Sorry, uh, I mean... I just needs some coffee.
Teller #1: Right. Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I have anothe
Edward's Secret Identity by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Edward's Secret Identity
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion. (pause) So, hey, you've read the Harry Potter series, right?
Bella: Uh... yeah.
Edward: Seen all the movies?
Bella: Yeah, I have.
Edward: So, that Harry guy... you think you could, like, seduce him?
Bella: Ew, why?
Edward: Just asking. (shifty eyes)
Bella: Seriously, why?
Edward: Well, you know that Cho girl?
Bella: Yes.
Edward: She's not enough to distract him! He's too strong. But you... you could help me.
Bella: First of all, it's just a book; they're not even real. And second, why do you even care?
Edward: We
Opera of Soap, Episode 3 by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Opera of Soap, Episode 3
Announcer: Okay, here we are again. They are airing another episode of this incredibly stupid soap opera. You know I really wonder why everyone wants to watch it.
Another Announcer: Well, it has cliff endings, romance, and the occasional make-out scene. . . Not that I watch it or anything.
Announcer: Anyway, heres a clip of the upcoming episode.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(the Girl and her best friend Ashley come back to the Girls apartment after they have seen Joanne in the hospital after she was hit by a car, and the police are there questioni
Jonas Brothers Secret . . . by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Jonas Brothers Secret . . .
(The Jonas Brothers are sitting in the middle of an empty room, looking very serious)
Joe: So... we're all here.
Nick: Yeah, there are, like, three of us in the room.
Kevin: Wait, three? I thought there were five of us! My dealer said I would still be able to see...
Nick: Dude, calm down, you guys. I have something really important to tell you.
Joe: Really? So do I...
Kevin: So, are you going to break the news to Nick or, like, should I?
Joe: I think I should do it.
Nick: What is it?
Joe: Nick, I'm getting married.
Nick: Woah. Wait, are you and Taylor back together? Dude, you know that she's bad news. Remember that little, uh, incid
Judy Works at a Grocery Store by sketchcomedyrocks, literature
Literature
Judy Works at a Grocery Store
(checkout line at a grocery store)
Judy: Vamos a ver... Okay, that's veintinueve dolares y noventa y nueve centos. Yay!
Customer #1: Um... what?
Judy: You were supposed to have already learned your numbers! I'm giving you a tally.
#1: Uh... okay. 0.o
Judy: Now, take out your WAVA... I mean, wallet. *shifty eyes*
#1: Lady, I know how to do this.
Judy: Sure, sweetie. Now you just swipe su tarjeta like this... (does it with the non-magnetic side) hmm... why is this not working?
#1: It would help if you did it the right way. (it works)
Judy: Oh. Yay!
Wait a minute... this says that su tarjeta is muy expired-o. (cuts it in half) now, if
Current Residence: Texas Favourite genre of music: It varies... MP3 player of choice: iPod nano Wallpaper of choice: Something purdy Favourite cartoon character: Scooby Doo, Garfield Personal Quote: What?, muchos grrness, muchas luvyas
Favourite Movies
Hairspray, Dan in Real Life, Stick It, Star Wars, lndiana Jones
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Kelly Clarkson, Mary J. Blige, Jonas Brothers, Reba McEntire
Ammyanne posted a new sketch a couple of days ago, and stuff so check that out. . . Thought that it would be a good idea to write a journal since we haven't for a while. Nothing new has really happened in a while except for the fact that all of a sudden I got a massive head ache that will involve food, water, and aspirin, possibly even a couple of zzz's in the near future. In fact I'm gonna wrap up this journal to go eat some fooood and drink some water. Random: I just started watching Will and Grace on a daily basis and is one of the few shows that actually makes me laugh outloud. That list involves 30 Rock, The Office, and Psych. :)
-d
Happy Fourth of July for all of those living in the states! Only a couple more weeks and then I go on my vacation! Yippeee ;) I have been dying to get out of the house that we are busy selling and I can't wait until we move into our new one. I have started posting a couple of chapters of the book-ish type thing that I will try to write over the summer. This is to get my writing skills a little better for next year's English class. Did you know that on the second day back we have a timed writing over a book that we have to read this summer????? CRAZINESS!! I don't even think that I will be able to function on the second day of school, much l
*sigh* It seems like I'm the only one who is on this account as of now. *deep deep sigh* Amyanne has only been on like twice, and who knows where Panini is, so I guess it's just up to me now, unless one of my other colleagues actually does something!! *hint hint* Anywho, I am anxiously trying to think of something to write, other than sketch ideas. You see, in English next year we will have to right tons of essays and other boring stuff and last year I wasn't too hot in that area of the subject, so I am trying to practice my writing skills. Unfortunately, the only thing that I am decent at are sketches, and as for anything else, I don't h